Break Down and Stand Up Again
by Kisae-27
Summary: AU set in modern time. Eren has to sustain himself and his little brother, Armin, after their parent's death, and therefore he works on a variety of jobs, being one of a them a night club. The boy gets to know a famous and misterious stripper called Levi, and quickly sees himself falling in love. How will it turn out? Can a romance exist between them? Rated M just to be safe.


**A/N: Hey, guys! Sup? :D Well, here it is my first Ereri fanfic! I hope you like it and if you do so please review! ^^**

**English isn't my frist language so please go easy on me! I apologize for the large amount of errors -_-"**

**- / -**

Eren woke up by the sudden scream that came from the room next to his. He stood up with one jump and ran towards the sound. _'Armin!'_ he thought as he slammed the door open and entered the bedroom, his already wide eyes widening even more as he saw his six years old little brother sitting on the bed, crying and holding on the blankets for dear life, his tiny hands showing white knuckles off.

"Armin! Oh my god, are you okay?!" he asked worriedly, while quickly walking over to his brother and getting on the bed, the mattress sinking slightly under his weight. He pushed the small trembling body against his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around Armin, caressing the boy's soft blond hair. He felt those little and fragile arms hug him back, and his cries slowly become low sobs. Eren let a sigh of relief out that he didn't even notice he was holding, and continued saying sweet nothings until the blond-headed kid was completely calmed down and big, wet, blue eyes met worried turquoise ones.

"Hey, Armin, it's alright now, okay?" the older male murmured, wiping the tears from Armin's face with his thumb. "It's fine, see? I'm here now"

"I… I had a n-nightmare, E-Eren…" the little one stammered. Eren nodded, comfort in his eyes.

"Want to talk about it?"

Armin opened his mouth but no sound came out.

"It's okay if you don't want to –"

"No!" the child cut him off. "No! I… It's just that… I… M-mommy and d-daddy… so much fire… a-and so m-much smoke… mommy… I miss m-mommy…" he broke off crying again.

"Oh, Armin…" Eren whispered, hugging his little brother tightly once again. It broke his heart into pieces when he saw Armin crying like that, and it hurt even more knowing that there was nothing he could do to better the situation. He knew exactly how it felt – he also had those nightmares, night after night, but he wished Armin didn't have to face nor deal with all that pain. He wished he could take all of those sorrowful memories from Armin to himself in order to protect that little human being. He just wanted his brother to live a happy life, without any worries – that's all he asked for.

"Eren…" the muffled voice said against his chest.

"Yes! Yes, what is it?" Eren anxiously asked, cupping the small head in his hands and making the boy look at him.

"Will you stay with me forever?"

Eren felt as his heart skipped a beat, jumping inside his ribcage like if it was taking part on the Olympics gymnastic. Armin was adorable, he was_ fucking adorable._ The twenty years old man placed a tender kiss on the younger's forehead and offered him the best smile he could afford. "Of course I will, of course I will. No matter what, got it?"

"Ye-yeah!" Armin answered with flushed cheeks and laying down on the bed, while pushing the covers over his face. Eren smiled and laid down beside his brother, keeping awake until he was sure Armin was peacefully asleep; after that he allowed himself to get a few more hours of sleep.

Neither of them had nightmares for the rest of the night.

Eren woke up before the sun shone through the curtains of Armin's room. The turquoise eyed man rubbed his eyes and yawned while slowly sitting up and glancing at the red digits the clock on the bedside table showed off. 6:03 AM. Eren yawned again and turned on his side, facing a cute and still sleeping Armin, who had his bangs and shoulder-length hair falling over his face; it was almost as if a little angel was there next to him. The young man grinned and softly ruffled Armin's hair, taking care not to wake the blondie up.

The brunette stood up and stretched his back, feeling way better awake now. He went out of the room, course to his own and was greeted with the mess in it. Eren skillfully dodged the clothes and books on the floor, jumping over them and finally reaching his wardrobe, from which he took a pair of black jeans and a dark green t-shirt off. He made his way into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and brushing his teeth; afterwards changing into the clean clothes he had previously chosen.

Feeling refreshed, Eren went to the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast – putting loaf in the toaster, milk to boil, butter, Nuttela, cheese and jam on the table. The brunette put an apron on and spilled oil on the frying pan, planning on doing an omelet (it had been some time since they last had something different for breakfast). And truth shall be told, Eren had a hard time getting various things for their meals, and it wasn't so long ago when they had close to no food in the fridge – and those times scared him. It had been almost three and a half years since then. Since _that_ day. Since 4th October.

Since their parents death.

Armin was only two and a half years old, and Eren seventeen, but both of them still had clear memories from that day, and nightmares haunted them because of it.

It had been a fire that no one really knew how it started, but that burned everything down, their old house, their belongings and their lifestyle – nothing was left. Not even their parents, Carla and Grisha Jaeger, who gave their lives to save their precious children. It had been cruel. _Merciless. _

And Eren couldn't help but feel responsible for what happened; if he hadn't been stuck in that locked room, his mother would have never came back trying to free him and his father wouldn't have come after them in the attempt to do the same. They wouldn't have broken the door open in order to take him out and the wooden pillar on wouldn't have fallen right over his parents. Eren wouldn't have seen the way flames made their way towards them, and how many tears were cried, and how desperate his parents sounded as death approached them. He wouldn't have witnessed such a horror movie. He wouldn't have been the cause of his parents death.

Eren choked and gripped the edge of the sink, his memories coming back in vivid flashes, blurring his vision. _His fault. His fault. _

Armin didn't have a proper family because of him. Because he couldn't free himself that night.

He started shaking, incapable of stopping it.

**_Fire. So much fire. And the heat!_**

**_I'm not going to get out of here. I'm going to die!_**

**_I don't want to die!_**

His heart raced and jumped inside his chest, and the brunette brought his hand up to his mouth.

**_'Eren! Eren, I'm going to get you out of there, okay? Don't worry, darling, everything will be fine. We'll save you, Eren!'_**

Eren felt his knees going numb.

**_'Eren, take care of Armin! Take care of yourselves, okay? We love you, Eren, we love both of you so much…'_**

**_A silent scream. A lone tear. And so much horror._**

The turquoise eyed male took an unsteady breath.

**_'No! Mom! Dad! I'm not going to leave you!'_**

**_'Eren, listen to me at least one time!' his mother cried. 'Do what I tell you!'_**

**_'No, mom! Mom!'_**

**_'Eren, Armin needs you! Please…' she begged. 'Please, just save yourselves… Our legs are already crushed-'_**

**_'Mom-'_**

**_'-we wouldn't be able to get out even if we wanted to.'_**

Eren's vision got blank. He couldn't breathe. _He _ _couldn't breathe. _

**_'Hannes! Oh my god, oh my god! Thank you! Thank you, god!' she sobbed._**

**_'Don't worry, Carla, I'm going to keep them safe'_**

**_'Th-thank you! Thank you so much…'_**

The sound echoed in his mind, hammering painfully inside him.

**_He was being carried away. His mother and father were still in danger, why was he being carried away?!_**

**_'Mooooom!'_**

"Eren, are you hurt?!"

An anxious childish voice snapped Eren from his thoughts. Armin! He turned to look at him, but dizziness took over him.

Having the sink to support his weight, the older male inhaled and exhaled deep and sharp breathes. _Calm down, calm down. You need to calm down, Eren! You're going to scare your brother!_ Eren bit the inside of his mouth, eventually feeling the taste of blood, and this helped him concentrate on reality. Pain and anger were always the best method.

The brunette blinked a few times, slowly coming to his senses. He didn't know how much time passed – seconds? Minutes? However long it had taken, Eren certainly didn't notice as Armin walked towards him and held his hand, almost squeezing it. The boy had his sky blue eyes looking at his brother with obvious concern painted on them. "Hey, Eren, everything will be alright, okay? I'm here now!"

Eren almost laughed at the petit guy. Having Armin mimicking him was just sweet – normally it would be the contrary situation, but as Armin was fast learner, there were times that they switched roles. Not that he minded it, it was actually pretty cute having his little brother worrying over him in such a way, but Eren didn't like the idea of putting an unnecessary weight of preoccupation over Armin shoulders. It made him feel as if he wasn't doing enough to give the blond-headed the carefree life he deserved. Goddamn, the kid was only _six_ _years old_, how could he possibly let him worry over something like his wellness? No way. Not now anyways. He'd give Armin a happy and peaceful life, no matter what.

So as always, Eren swallowed the knot in his throat and smiled reassuringly. "No, Armin, I'm not hurt" he softly said and knelt beside his brother, petting his hair. "But thank you for your concern" he grinned.

A small smile formed on Armin's lips and the boy seemed relieved. "That's good! Because I would never let anything bad happen to you, you know!" he stated, proudly.

"Mhm, 'cuz you're my little hero, right?"

"Little, no! I'm a big hero!" the boy pouted. Eren laughed amusedly.

"You still have to drink lots of milk if you want to be big."

"I will! And in no time I'll be bigger than you!"

Eren smirked and ruffled Armin's hair, making a mess out of it. "Yeah, right. You talk big, that's what it is" he mocked.

Armin complained and stormed out of the kitchen, only to come back five minutes later. Eren chuckled – god, how he loved his little cute brother – and finished preparing breakfast. They ate and spoke of nothing really important, mostly about homework and stories on Armin's part (the kid was such a bookworm!) and some mentions about work on Eren's. They finished everything up – washing dishes included – and there was still an hour before heading Armin towards school and then making his way to work.

Work.

Eren had two jobs that occupied most time of the week, leaving him only Sundays off, and he hated it. Hated not being able to spend as much time with Armin as he should.

The first year after his parent's death was like hell. The court agreed to let Armin stay with him, since he was almost legal and with Hannes' help (a cop that was an old family friend) they managed to go through all that shit. But they suffered. It had been a huge loss and sorrow was all over their faces. Eren abandoned college in order to get money and sustain his little brother and himself, but he never thought that leaving all his student life behind would be so painful. He missed going to college, missed having classes and fooling around. Missed getting the worst grades someone could ever get and being yelled at by the professor. Missed meeting with his friends, going to parties and getting drunk when he shouldn't get drunk. Eren missed doing what he enjoyed to do.

Missed being free and not having the world's weight over his shoulders.

Eren sighed frustratingly and passed his fingers through his hair, getting it messier than it already was. _'Argh… fuck me sideways, getting sentimental now of all times. Get a hold of yourself, Eren! Damn it!'_

Whatever, he was going to take Armin to school and then make his way work; late in the afternoon he'd call Mikasa to bring Armin back home and she'd put the food he prepared in the morning in the microwave and stay until he ate and went to sleep (she always insisted to anyways), and when late midnight came he'd get out of his last shift and go home, as he always did. Pretty great schedule he had there.

_'Great. My ass, great…'_

"So, see you later then?" Eren asked, kneeling down beside Armin, a hand on his small head, ruffling his blond hair. The boy chuckled and nodded.

"Yep! 'Till later!"

Eren smiled and pressed a kiss on his brother's forehead. "Stay safe, kiddo"

Armin rolled his eyes. "I'll be in school, nii-chan"

The brunette laughed softly at his six years old brother behavior – the kid acted almost as an adult sometimes!

"Whatever, just take care, okay?"

Armin smiled and looked at Eren with his bright blue eyes. "Mhm, I will!", and with that he kissed Eren's cheek and ran off into the kindergartens direction. The older male kept staring, until Armin wasn't anywhere on his sight, and then started walking course to his first job on the day, a popular café where he worked as a waiter. This was probably the job Eren liked the most, once he knew the manager since his childhood (an old man named Pixis) and was very nice treated by his others coworkers. He particularly liked the atmosphere in the cozy place and the way everybody seemed to know each other and get along really well – it made him feel nicely welcome.

His other job on the other hand wasn't exactly what he'd call nice. It was certainly not bad since he got well-paid, but Eren just never thought of himself working in a night club. More specifically in a strippers club. Of course Eren didn't have to do anything_ dirty_, all he needed to do was work as a barman and flirt with some of the costumers – pole dancing and all those things were only for those who applied for it, Eren could never picture himself doing these sort of… things.

But he'd be lying if he said he never thought of trying it out. The wage was really good he heard, and there was always an extra cash from what the crazy fangirls and even fanboys threw at the stage. And Eren had never been the shy type, but he couldn't stand the idea of having Armin to know what he does to sustain both of them – working on a night club was bad enough, now working as a stripper was absolutely out of question. Eren just _couldn't _do it.

A sigh escaped his lips and he made himself walk faster. The sooner the day was over the better it'd be.

Or at least that's what he hoped.

Although the café was as lovely as ever, Eren got bored out of his mind. There weren't many costumers while he was on his shift and he forgot to bring his sketchbook to pass time, so all he did was sit for almost three hours straight on a fucking hard wooden chair, watching the pedestrians pass by in front of the store and counting the numbers of black flecks on the ceiling, until he swore his ass would never come back into its original form.

When six o'clock finally came, Eren jumped out of his chair and Marco – his coworker and the nicest guy Eren had ever known (seriously, he was just like fucking Jesus Christ or some shit) – took over after him. As the turquoise eyed man passed by the freckled one, he gave him a light squeeze on the shoulder as if saying 'good luck' and received a soft smile in return.

Eren hurried to the changing room and took off his uniform, quickly putting his previous clothes on afterwards. He picked his bag and went out by the back door, waving at Pixis, who was sitting on the couch reading a magazine, as he got out.

He took the next bus to Trost – a nearby city – and reached the night club he worked in. As it was still early (only 7:30 PM), the club was still closed for the costumers, and it still amazed Eren at how calm it was inside when there weren't people bumping into each other and loud music bursting into his ears.

"Ereeeeen!" a loud voice took him away from his thoughts. He turned on his heels and saw a woman running at him. She still hadn't her uniform on, so that she wore simple blue jeans with a red shirt, which matched the frame of her glasses. Her hair was pulled up on a messy ponytail and a big grin painted her face as she hugged him tight to her chest.

"H-hey, Hanji" he greeted under his breath and with flushed face, once his cheeks pressed against her big boobs.

"How are you doing, my little sugarmouse?!"

"F-fine! Hanji, you're seriously go-going to kill m-me"

"Oh! I'm sorry, Eren" she apologized with a bright smile on her face. "I'm just happy-" _When are you not?_ "-since Levi is back~! It's been ages since he's gone!"

"Levi?" the boy asked, eyebrow cocked up; the name wasn't really a strange one, but it was none too familiar. "Who's that?"

Hanji looked incredulously at him. "You seriously don't know?!"

Eren shrugged.

"He's just like our best stripper ever! Oh my god, I can't actually believe you work on a night club and don't even know who Levi is!" she started laughing, hands holding her sides. He just looked blankly at her, because really, Eren didn't know most of the strippers' names and he also didn't care not knowing. The woman only started to grin louder as she saw his expression. "I'm not joking, Eren. The man _is _hot, and it's hard not to fall for him once you see him dancing; everybody loves him and the girls almost go crazy when he's on stage! Not only the girls but there are plenty of guys too!"

Eren didn't let his expression change, truth shall be told he didn't give shit about whoever this Levi person was – he was probably just another one of those shameless whores anyway. "Do you like him too?" he asked.

Hanji burst out into a fit of laughter. "Oh, Eren! Me? Pffff!" she laughed, tears on the corner of her chocolate brown eyes. "I've known him longer than anyone else, except for Erwin I guess, and I know him from head to toe. No, he's not my type. But this doesn't mean that he's still not a hottie while dancing!"

"Mhm…" the brunette hummed and started walking into the collective changing room to leave his bag inside.

"I'm serious, Eren! I'm pretty sure Erwin is gonna put him on stage tonight so you'll see with your own eyes what he's like"

Erwin Smith was the night club's manager, but most people only called him Commander Handsome; and not without a reason, the man was some kind of superman with neatly combed blond hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders, huge structure and muscles everywhere. Handsome was just the right word to define him.

"Oi, Eren! Are you listening to me? I'm not lying! Levi is_ beautiful_."

"Yes, yes, I got it, Hanji." He said, internally rolling his eyes while opening the door to the changing room. As it was not even 8 PM, Eren didn't expect to see someone else in there. He was about to enter the room when Hanji jumped inside.

"LEVIIII! I thought you didn't arrive yet! Why didn't you call me?!" she exclaimed/yelled at the man whose back he was facing. So that was Levi? He was kind of… shorter than he imagined. No kidding, he couldn't be taller than 5'3".

"C'mon, Levi! Give me a hug! I know you missed me!"

"Shut up, shitty glasses" the man groaned – his voice was much deeper than Eren expected – and turned to face them. _What a jer- _

… Wow. The brunette's eyes widened as Levi was front to front with him. True, he was short but just, wow. The man standing in front of him wore, as he already noticed, skinny black jeans, with black boots, black shirt and black leather jacket. In any other person, Eren thought it'd look dull, but it just suited Levi in a way the turquoise eyed man couldn't explain. Levi had a pale skin that made a perfect contrast with the black outfit, and his raven black hair had an undercut, and his bangs fell over his forehead, minutely divided and combed, not even one strand out of place. Yet what was more stunning about him – well, everything was stunning, but screw it - were his eyes. They were narrowed, as if full of suspicious and its colors intrigued Eren. Gray? Blue? The boy couldn't quite define what they were, if you looked at them with a certain angle, they'd be gray, but of you changed your head's position slightly they'd be steel blue. It was… interesting. Just as his face expression; or better, the lack of it to be more exact. It wasn't as if he looked bored, but more as if there was really no expression. Eren had never seen such an expressionless face, he could stay hours long looking at it and still wouldn't be able to describe the man perfectly.

"Kid, stop staring. It's rude" Levi snapped, his gaze boring into Eren's.

The brunette felt his cheeks and neck growing warm, a faint blush creeping on them. Eren looked away. "I-… I wasn't staring!"

"Yeah, the fuck you weren't."

"Well, e-excuse me, then" the brown haired male pouted, brows furrowed, and walking up to his own locker, not looking at Levi but feeling his stare on him. What a damned jerk.

The blush was still on his face, and Eren had never really stopped to think about his sexuality, much less in the past few years (sure, he had kissed and gone out with some girls before, but nothing concrete), but he was pretty damn sure that he couldn't call himself straight anymore.

_'Goddamn, Hanji! Levi isn't just beautiful!'_ Eren thought, fists clenching on his sides, heart skipping a beat.

_'He's hot as fuck, that's what he is!'_


End file.
